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Post by Kiriha Kyuuseishu on Apr 30, 2014 3:49:21 GMT
"Don't let the things that are beyond your control get to you." He sounded like a hypocrite. Some of this was beyond his control, yet he joined URSA and fought to try to change that. By his words he should just accept things and move on, but that was harder than it sounded. He was just hopeful that she'd actually take the words to heart, the words that he himself couldn't follow.
"Even if he won't forgive you, don't let it get to you. Move on with your life with the people who actually do care about you. People like me," Kiriha told her. There had to be others as well, but he was the only one there to cite, so he used himself.
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Post by Akane Himura on Apr 30, 2014 3:59:56 GMT
Easy for him to say. She liked Kiriha. She liked Kiriha a lot. And she didn't want to call him a hypocrite but it was being one. They were both here because they did let things that were beyond their control get to them all the time.
She shook her head. "He's my father. I love him. I'm supposed to love him. I want him to be proud of me." But that would never happen. Every time she hoped her heart was torn apart. He didn't appreciate anything about who she was or what she did. He thought she was cursed to kill everyone who got close to her. She'd killed Mom when she was born and she'd watched Emi die.
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Post by Kiriha Kyuuseishu on Apr 30, 2014 4:19:36 GMT
She loved him. That was good, at least, "You're supposed to love him," he told her, "He's supposed to love you. But...if he doesn't, it's good to know you still love him," he told her. It gave his heart hope for her, and for her situation. Maybe it could be repaired, because she still had at least some level of hope it seemed like.
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Post by Akane Himura on Apr 30, 2014 4:37:32 GMT
Of course she still loved him. She was his daughter. That's why the letters always hurt so much. Akane wanted some sign that her father felt something besides detestation towards her. But...Time and time again all she got was grief. But she always kept the letters, always opened them, always read them, always felt miserable as a result. She believed and trusted. She hoped and dreamed and in the end he still hated her.
She fiddled with her hair some more. "I keep thinking that if I work harder if I'm a better person if I do this or that then he'll finally love me, finally be proud. But...It's never really worked out. He hates me for Mother and for Emi too. My brother had hemophilia and I was there when he bled out and died. And..." She trembled. "That's why I wanted to be a doctor. I...I couldn't do anything for him while he just..." She could hardly blame her father for blaming her. She felt guilty. She felt like there should have been something she could do.
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Post by Kiriha Kyuuseishu on Apr 30, 2014 13:14:29 GMT
"That's not your fault," he told her. He didn't know if there was anything else for him to say. That sounded horrible, her brother's fate, and that she had been there. He couldn't imagine how that might feel, and with Akane, how she might feel with her mother's death on her (according to her father) as well.
He reached out and put his hands on her shoulders, "Akane, do whatever you can. Just keep on this path and eventually you'll find a way to make him happy." He wasn't quite sure if he believed that, but he wanted to tell her that, to try to make her feel better. "Someday it'll work. Keep doing what you're doing. And while he's not here for you, I will be."
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Post by Akane Himura on Apr 30, 2014 21:06:52 GMT
Not her fault? The rational part of her brain had to agree. It was the more emotional part that couldn't get with the program. And her father's insistence even to this day that she was the one to blame certainly didn't help. He was still convinced she was cursed. Or at least he pretended to be.
She took two deep breaths when Kiriha put his hands on her shoulder. She needed to calm down. She'd already fallen apart. Her eyes were still watering. It was shameful. Kiriha certainly didn't deserve to deal with this after he had such a tough day.
"You think so?" she asked hopefully, her face transfixing into an expression of a wistful dreamer. Akane wanted that so badly, for her father to acknowledge her as a proper daughter, for her to make him happy.
She wrapped her arms around Kiriha in a tight hug. "Thank you!" she breathed. She really needed someone else to believe, someone else to say there was hope. And he was right at least she didn't disappoint him. He was there to support her like he had been for a very long time.
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Post by Kiriha Kyuuseishu on Apr 30, 2014 21:44:26 GMT
He hugged her back, not saying a word for a bit. He just let them have a moment, hoping he had made her feel at least somewhat better. She didn't deserve to have to feel this way, especially not from her own father. Nobody did, least of all Akane, and someone as good as her.
He drew back a little, "How much time do you have left on your shift?" he asked. He was hoping she'd be done soon. He figured that if she had a change of scenery or something that that might help. Or he could go do something with her to hopefully help make her feel better. He needed to get his mind off of things too as it was, so it would probably help them both to have something else to do.
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Post by Akane Himura on Apr 30, 2014 22:12:36 GMT
She smiled gratefully when he returned her hug. His arms were warm and she felt the psychological numbness retract a bit. Kiriha always knew how to calm her down.
Akane checked her watch and chuckled. "I'm done in negative five minutes." Yeah, she was officially off the clock. And as there was no one in critical care, no reason for her to linger. She could...try and do something fun.
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Post by Kiriha Kyuuseishu on Apr 30, 2014 22:14:27 GMT
He smiled and gave her a nod, "I have to run upstairs and take care of something quick, but I'll be back soon. Then we can find something better to do. Hopefully a nice distraction."
He took a step back from her and picked up the gear he had set aside for her examination. He put the torso piece back on and picked up the helmet, "I'll be back soon," he said, hurrying off to the exit so he could head to where the troopers took care of things.
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Post by Akane Himura on Apr 30, 2014 22:22:55 GMT
She beamed when Kiriha said they could find something better to do. That sounded nice. She really liked hanging out with Kiriha. And after Mr. Jenkins and the letter, she could certainly use something cheering.
"I'll be here," she promised, deciding to give her patients a quick once over while she waited. Everything seemed to be in order but it never hurt to double check.
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Post by Kiriha Kyuuseishu on Apr 30, 2014 22:26:17 GMT
Kiriha came back down a few minutes later, dressed in his actual clothes, since his uniform stayed in the building when not in use. He felt more relieved to be out of the stiff armored boots, gloves and chest and was happy to be in lighter clothes again.
He walked towards her, "Are you ready to go?" he asked. He stopped and picked up the closest file, just skimming it quickly while he waited.
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Post by Akane Himura on Apr 30, 2014 22:37:34 GMT
Akanae had already changed too. She had slipped out of her lab coat and changed into a pretty white dress. Beaming, she nodded her head. "Let's go!" she said eagerly, excited to be rid of this gloomy atmosphere. It..It felt so strange, the empty bed table where just a few hours before Mr. Jenkins had rested. Yes...Getting out and getting some air would definitely be a good idea.
"Any idea where you want to go?" she asked.
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Post by Kiriha Kyuuseishu on Apr 30, 2014 23:06:03 GMT
He turned to leave with her, shaking his head, "No, I don't have any ideas, admittedly." He didn't, he figured they could figure it out as they went. He didn't have time to do a lot of things recently, but he was making a special exception for Ayane and her problems. She was important to him, and her problems were important too, so he'd change his routine and plans to try to make things better.
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Post by Akane Himura on Apr 30, 2014 23:14:33 GMT
She chuckled. The two of them really sucked at planning anything outside of their work. She shouldn't have even bothered wasting her breath with the question. She knew better.
"Are you hungry?" she asked him. "Maybe we can get a bite to eat." It was really thoughtful of Kiriha to spend time with her like this when she was so done. She quickly picked up the letter and put it in her coat pocket. She still needed to finish reading it at some point. She wasn't going to be such a coward that she couldn't hear out all her father had to say. And somehow she had to write a response. That was expected and polite.
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Post by Kiriha Kyuuseishu on Apr 30, 2014 23:17:55 GMT
He gave her a few nods, "Yeah. Food sounds like a great idea. Are you in the mood for anything in particular?" he asked. He didn't really mind one way or the other what they'd eat, anything would be fine for him. He was hungry enough, and wasn't overly picky in general. Most of the time he was in a hurry to be somewhere or get something done, so he just ate something quickly.
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