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Post by Kiriha Kyuuseishu on Apr 29, 2014 0:20:24 GMT
Kiriha and a squad of five other ZECTroopers came back into headquarters, battered, tired. One of their helmets was smashed half open, one had his arm in a sling. Kiriha avoided anything like that, fortunately. He was tired and aching, though. The Orphnoch the team had encountered had gone down eventually, but it had taken a lot of effort.
The team had gone out with seven. Two died. But they killed the Orphnoch. Some would see that as an accomplishment, two lives be damned. Kiriha didn't see it that way, but he hadn't been able to reach them to even try to save them. He was powerless to help them.
As the others went off to wherever they were supposed to go, Kiriha wandered towards the medical area. He'd keep his gear on for now and deal with it later, he had to check in down there first.
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Post by Akane Himura on Apr 29, 2014 0:29:30 GMT
Akane supposed this was her 'normal' shift or at least more normal shift. She wasn't on field medic duty but normal URSA doctor duty if there was such a thing. The work was a mix of looking after the injured and conducting research into the potential of a cure. Although she'd be off the clock fairly soon. She had less than five minutes left and no one was in critical condition. So no need to stay extra. Well...Correction. No one was in critical condition anymore. Mr. Jenkins had passed away. She was trying not to feel it. But there was a crushing weight in her gut. It was her job to save him and...Not now. Surely the guilt could wait until she was officially off the clock.
She moved to Mr. Godrick's bedside. It was time for a new layer of bandages. The ones his left arm were no longer white but a deep crimson. "Hold still," she said gently with a warm smile. "You know the drill. This will hurt a bit but bare with it."
She'd had just finished redressing the man's wounds when she heard a noise and glanced up to see Kiriha. The two had been friends for quite some time so she could tell just by looking at his face that things hadn't gone super well. They'd lost someone.
Akane walked over to Kiriha. "Sit down," she said in an authoritative tone. "Let me look you over." She'd ask for details after she'd confirmed that he wasn't too bruised and broken.
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Post by Kiriha Kyuuseishu on Apr 29, 2014 0:47:40 GMT
Kiriha was always happy to see Akane. Whens he told him to sit, he gave her a nod and went to the closest spot he could sit, setting his helmet on the table beside him. Fortunately the firearm portion of the uniform had been taken already, since taking a live weapon into the medical bay was probably a stupid idea. It was also too bulky for him to have set anywhere.
He didn't say a word as he started to remove some of the thicker parts of the suit for the sake of ease for her.
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Post by Akane Himura on Apr 29, 2014 0:54:51 GMT
She smiled at her friend, her day suddenly growing a bit brighter. And she was certainly glad he didn't pull the macho man bullshit come of his colleges did, acting like it was beneath them to get inspected, like there was no possible way they could have sprained something or gotten injured enough to risk infection.
Once confirming that he didn't look seriously bruised or scraped she took his heart rate and blood pressure. Most doctors didn't bother but URSA didn't know nearly enough about the monsters they subjected their employees too. They had no idea what possible long term effects might develop from continuous exposure. So Akane was being super cautious and keeping tabs on everyone's heart rate and blood pressure to make sure there were no significant changes. She jotted some notes before disinfecting some scratches.
"All patched up," she assured him brightly. Although really little needed to be done. He'd come out of this fight in fine shape. But at least one other..."Who was it?" she asked gently.
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Post by Kiriha Kyuuseishu on Apr 29, 2014 1:01:22 GMT
He knew all of the tests she was doing, and he went with them gladly. He'd have done the same, unless there was no time. They were important though, all of them were. He figured that a lot of the soldiers might not understand that, but being a medic first, he knew that too well.
"Two of them," he told her solemnly. He let out a breath, "Jameson and Saejima. I couldn't get to them in time to help them. Everyone else came out mostly fine, and we eliminated the threat, at least. That's...that's something." He didn't sound too happy about it. How could he? There were still two deaths.
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Post by Akane Himura on Apr 29, 2014 1:10:55 GMT
She was relieved to note that as of yet Kiriha's body wasn't behaving oddly at all. In theory armor should help protect him from any bacteria and things the monsters were carrying but again..They knew little about the monsters and what sort of bacteria and germs they might carry. And then when combat happened holes could appear rather readily in armor.
Akane bowed her head in grave respect when he said there were two of them. How terrible. So they'd lost at least three this day. She sighed. "I lost Mr. Jenkins," she said mournfully. Not he was lost. She lost him. He was her patient. She had a responsibility to treat and heal and she'd failed. Yes, he'd been seriously injured in combat a few days ago but there had been some chance and well....He hadn't made it.
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Post by Kiriha Kyuuseishu on Apr 29, 2014 1:14:13 GMT
"I remember him," Kiriha told her softly. He looked over at the other patients in the area, letting his gaze remain on them for a bit. He looked back at Akane, "He was a good man. And you're a good doctor. I know you did what you could." She was good, if he had been able to be saved, he was sure she'd have saved him. The fact that he died told Kiriha that he was probably beyond saving.
Or was it that he didn't want to think that Akane could do wrong? She anchored him to the past, to a time before the return of the monsters. Maybe he wanted to look back at a brightness, at a goodness. At a better time. But no, she was good. His death wasn't her fault.
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Post by Akane Himura on Apr 29, 2014 1:21:20 GMT
"He was very nice," she answered, voice equally soft. She chuckled a little. "But he told the lamest jokes!" It was better to laugh than cry. She wasn't going to lose it in front of Kiriha. He had enough to worry about besides her. Two of his teammates had died.
"Thank you," she said sincerely. Kiriha always had more faith in Akane than she had in herself. She figured she had to be at least decently intelligent to have graduated with top marks and to have been made a doctor and then to have attracted URSA's attention. Still...She felt so horribly irredeemably guilty every time she lost a patient. She felt that she should have been better, that there should have been something she could have done no matter how many times people dismissed her fears as ridiculous.
"And you're both a good medic and trooper. I know you did what you could. Everyone here knows the risks." Although some of them really acted like they didn't. But they had to be informed before they suited up and got fighting.
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Post by Kiriha Kyuuseishu on Apr 29, 2014 4:00:09 GMT
He was silent for a few moments, "Tell me something...do you ever regret joining URSA? Or even choosing to become a doctor?" He'd thought about it a few times. When he started on this path, there were no monsters, and he'd just wanted to help people. Something in there attracted him to this path specifically, but he wasn't sure what.
And then there was URSA. People were dying of the virus carried by the Inves, and nothing could stop it. He had become too fed up, losing too many patients. Fighting and healing was better than watching people slowly die around him.
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Post by Akane Himura on Apr 29, 2014 4:09:09 GMT
Akane bit her lip, a nervous habit. Finally after a moment she nodded her head slowly too ashamed to voice assent at first. "Sometimes," she finally admitted. "It's...I want to help people and it's tough...Watching them die. I...I originally became a doctor because I didn't want to helplessly watch people die anymore." It was a foolish dream. She saw more death than ever as a doctor. Some she could help but many she couldn't. And she was always left with the deepest sorrow and regret wondering why she couldn't save them, wondering what she'd done wrong, wondering why her efforts hadn't been enough.
She hadn't talked to Kiriha about Emi, holding his hand and staying by his side while he bled out. Too painful. Although she tried to avoid discussing her family as much as possible. She had terribly strained relationships with her father and step-mother. She'd never known her mother as she'd killed her, being born. And even her relationship with her younger half-brother could be a bit awkward given her father's and step-mother's hatred.
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Post by Kiriha Kyuuseishu on Apr 29, 2014 4:12:23 GMT
He reached out and took one of her hands into his, "Akane, even if we both took this path to try to save lives, that doesn't mean we can save everyone. It's hard to accept. We know how to save them, but we can't. It's something we have to accept and live with, as unfair as it may be."
It was a little unfair. Spending all this time learning to save lives, learning to protect people, and then no matter what, it all still failed. Somehow.
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Post by Akane Himura on Apr 29, 2014 4:21:59 GMT
Akane squeezed his hand appreciatively, taking great comfort in his touch. Kiriha always managed to calm her down, make her feel better about herself. "I know we can't save everyone but..." It still felt like such a great personal failure every time she lost a patient. They weren't just numbers. They were human beings, irreplaceable people.
"It's selfish of me to regret. Really...I like being a doctor! I'm very happy I can help some people. It's just...I wish I could help more. It always feels like it's just not enough." No matter how many they saved, there would always be the unsaveable. And she always felt that loss so keenly.
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Post by Kiriha Kyuuseishu on Apr 29, 2014 13:11:39 GMT
He looked down a bit, and then back up at her, "One reason I joined URSA was to make a difference. Or at least to try to. I wanted to be more than just a doctor or a medic. I chose to fight to try to do more. But for you and I...neither of us are cut out for that path. I won't stop fighting, but we're not the people who can make a difference that way."
That was true. At least, he figured it was. He was a terrible combatant and couldn't do as much as the other soldiers and ZECTroopers could. He did his best and tried to minimize the damage, but he wouldn't be surprised at all to die during one of these battles.
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Post by Akane Himura on Apr 29, 2014 15:28:32 GMT
She chuckled. They'd given her the option to try and be a trooper. "No, I outright told them I wouldn't fight." She didn't want to hurt anything, not even monsters. Yes, they were harming others but...She didn't think she had it in her to be a soldier. That wasn't her role. Her job was to heal. "I'd like to believe I can make a difference as a doctor and a researcher." She didn't know if she actually could but she'd try.
But she wasn't a coward. That wasn't why she didn't fight. There was plenty of danger just being a field medic. Really...The experiences were rather terrifying but she did her best to ignore the fear and just focus on the people who needed her medical expertise.
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Post by Kiriha Kyuuseishu on Apr 29, 2014 21:53:41 GMT
"I'd like to believe that too." He could have done the same, but he had to do something more, no matter how stupid it was, no matter how likely to get him killed it was. He couldn't sit around and just heal when the source of the problem was still out there. He wanted to fight and try to make the problem smaller, but it wasn't working well so far.
"The deaths aside, how have you been?" he asked her. He was more interested in talking as two friends now, rather than workers.
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